The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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