She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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