After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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