Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
