you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
