You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
