he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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