can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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