I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
