I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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