Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I could fuck to npr.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
