go do what you do best...puke behind churches
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
