drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize