My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
