just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
