I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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