I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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