Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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