How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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