Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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