Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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