its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
