I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
