whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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