I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
