I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
