never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Farmville is her only friend.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize