o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
