final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
