I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
