he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
