The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
