I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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