So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
