Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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