Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
