She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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