I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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