he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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