Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
