he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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