I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Randomize
