Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
