One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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