No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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