The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
