Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
