The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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