omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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