There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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