Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
