Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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