It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
