it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize