im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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