i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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