Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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