At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
