Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
