I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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