You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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