I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
