hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
