Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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