found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
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I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
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i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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