i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Randomize
