Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
