Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
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She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
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You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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