grandma shit on top of the toilet
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
