p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
