I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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