There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
