I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
