Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
