Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
